A little in shock

Kaanas has been doing a lot of job interviewing over the past few days, having a few interviews a day.  Some of the jobs were not that great, like the warehouse job, some were ok, and a couple were great.  He went to one interview on Tuesday that we really have no idea how he got.  He applied for a call center job at the company and got called in for an interview, only they didn’t interview him for the call center job, they interviewed him for an upper management job, that would be making $85,000 a year after he finished his training.  We were both a little shocked that they did that interview, because he doesn’t have his degree yet and he doesn’t have the experience for that job, but he got a call back later that afternoon saying that he was one of their top 10 candidates and that they wanted him to come in for a second interview.  We were again shocked, but he went into the second interview.  It was actually at a Sam’s Club (the company finds clients who have products they want to sell, gets them made, and then sells them in stores).  A few hours later he got a call back saying he was now in their top 3 and they wanted him to come in for a 3rd and final interview.  That was yesterday morning, and yesterday afternoon he got a call back saying that he got the job.  We are a little in shock.  This had to have been God’s doing, because there is no other way this could have happened.  They had over 600 applicants, and out of those applicants they for some reason said, “let’s interview the guy who has no degree and no experience!”  He was told a few times that the other applicants were more qualified than he was, but somehow he still got the job.  He will start next week on his training.  He will start by selling products in stores, mainly Sam’s Club, and his pay will be mostly commission based, then when he learns that they will move him to an assistant manager and he will be making about $45,000 a year.  After he learns that they will move him to the position that he is actually training for and he will make a salary based on how many clients he takes on, but the low end is $85,000 a year, upper end is $125,000 a year.  They want him finished with his training and at the upper position in 6-9 months.  By the beginning of next year he will be making $85,000 a year.  We are amazed.  This is a huge blessing.

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Time off work

Lately my anxiety has been super high.  I have been becoming physically ill at times because I am so anxious and cannot calm myself down.  At times I am paralyzed by it, unable to move or think or function.  The only way I have been managing to do anything if by being productive for about 5 minutes, until the anxiety becomes unbearable, then taking a break for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, when I am finally able to calm down, then working for another 5 minutes.  Work has been making this worse.  At work there is nothing I can do.  I can’t take breaks when I need to to calm down, I can’t do anything to calm down.  I have to stand there and smile and help customers, some of who do not make my job any easier.  I spend all day at work trying to force myself to know have an anxiety attack.  I try to breathe, not think about it, not feel it.  I force it down and hold everything in as tightly as I can.  I am trapped at work with no where to go and no way to relieve my anxiety.  Often the day before I have to work I start become unbearably anxious about it, and then after work it takes me a day to two to recover from the stress.  Now, I love where I work.  My Home Depot is filled with wonderful people who have never been anything but nice to me.  My anxiety about work is not because of where I work, or anything they have done, it is being trapped with my anxiety for hours at a time that has made me fear work.  Last week Kaanas and I talked and we decided that I just can’t live like this anymore.  I am not functioning and I am nauseous all the time.  So last night I went into work and talked to one of the managers.  I told her what was going on, and that I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I told her that I loved working there, but I needed a break.  She was amazingly understanding, and they are putting me on a leave of absence.  I can be gone for up to a year, and when I am ready to come back I can just call them and they will get me back on the schedule.  I am hoping that in a month or two I will have my anxiety under control enough that I can work again.  I am going to talk to my counselor about it, and try and get an appointment with my doctor to see if my meds need to be adjusted.  In the meantime I am focusing on myself and my family.  I am trying to let go of unnecessary commitments that bring me stress.  Hopefully I can get this figured out soon.

Day shift and overtime

When Kaanas got his job at Walmart he was hired for the night shift.  At first it was not so bad, but it has really been wearing on him.  He does not sleep as well during the day, so he was tired all the time, even when he had slept a full 8 hours.  He was also constantly having to go back and forth between sleeping during the day and sleeping at night, because on his days off he did not want to stay up all night.  And it was hard on us because not only could I not talk to him and be with him during the day because he was sleeping, but we didn’t get to sleep together at night either, so it felt like he was actually gone twice as much as he was.  So for the past few months Kaanas has been trying to switch to day shift, and finally this week was his first week on days.  He is doing a more physically demanding job, unloading the trucks, but we were hoping it would be better.  In a lot of ways it is, but they have had him stay late three days this week already.  Twice until after 1 a.m. (he is supposed to work from 2-11 p.m.) and once until almost 2:30 a.m.  Getting the overtime is nice, but Kaanas is so exhausted when he gets home.  Hopefully things get organized better so he is not having to stay so late so often, or maybe they will just hire more people.  In the meantime the extra pay from the overtime can go into saving.