Quit my job

I started working again last week because my morning sickness was getting better and I thought I could handle it.  Turns out I was wrong.  Working has been making my morning sickness so much worse.  After a very long talk with Kaanas about our finances, and considering our options, we decided that I needed to quit.  Without my job we are short on money, but my parents have been offering to help us out for a while now.  I talked to them before quitting and they would rather I was healthy, so they are going to help where we are short until we can work something else out.  We are still hoping that Kaanas gets promoted in 3 months (actually less now), and then things will be a lot better.  We are only short just a little, as long as we are careful.  We have made plans of ways that we can cut back as much as possible.  I feel so guilty about this, if I could just work we wouldn’t need help, things would be better.  But the fact is I am not doing well physically or emotional.  I am hardly able to eat and drink, and have been losing about a pound a week.  I am constantly dehydrated and struggling to drink enough to keep me going.  Emotionally I am struggling to hang on because the depression is getting really bad.  I need to focus on being as healthy as I can.  I need to save my physical and emotional energy for myself and my family.  I am so blessed to have a family who understands that and is supportive.  I am so grateful for them.

This whole pregnancy we have been trying to avoid me having to go in and get an IV, but today it finally happened.  Yesterday I had a stomach bug, in addition to the morning sickness, and it was too much.  We tried to handle it at home, but by late morning I could tell that things were not going well and it had gone beyond what we could handle at home, so we found an urgent care center that did IVs.  I could hardly stand, or even sit up, when we got there, but after a bag of fluids I felt so much better.  They also gave me a shot of nausea medication (the nausea shots or IV meds work so much better than the pills), so after I was done we took advantage of me not feeling sick and got me some barbecue.  Most of what I eat lately is simple card (plain white bread) and fruit, because that is all that I can eat without throwing up, so I knew that I really needed calories, fat, and protein, which barbecue has in abundance.  It was so good.  I know that one plate of meat isn’t going to reverse my weight loss or anything like that, but I am trying to take advantage of every opportunity I have where it doesn’t make me sick.  Hopefully this is the only time this pregnancy that I need and IV.  I am already at 12 weeks, so almost to the second trimester.

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