Lost the baby

Just a few days after I found out I was pregnant I started spotting.  It was late in the day, and by the time I got to the doctor the next morning it had gotten worse and I was having bad cramps.  Blood work confirmed that I had lost the baby.  Physically I felt fine after the first day, but it has been really hard emotionally.  Kaanas came home from work as soon as I realized what was going on, and luckily he already had the next 5 days off (we had a vacation planned, I will post about that soon), so he was able to be home and help me.  He has been so amazing the past few days.  He has been there for everything that I needed.  Things are getting better.  I am still sad a lot, but it is not as crushing.  I feel guilty about that.  I don’t want to move on from my baby, I don’t want to forget, but rationally I know I can’t just dwell on this forever.  I need to be happy again, it won’t be good for me, or my family, to stay sad, but I also know that I need time, and I am trying to give myself that.

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