Recently I have been trying to decide what I want to do about school.  I was supposed to be finished with it by now, I would have been if I had not gotten so sick when pregnant with Mingli.  Now I am having trouble wanting to go back.

I used to love college.  I even wanted to go on and get my PhD.  I loved my classes and was always talking to friends and family members about all the amazing things I was learning and doing.  I thought college was wonderful and was really sad that I was almost finished with it.  But now my life has changed.  I am a wife and mother, and I am happier than I have ever been.  All of a sudden the classes that brought me so much joy seem to get in the way of what I really want to be doing.  I am happiest in my new roles as wife and mother.  I do not want to be forced to be away from my baby several times a week.  I want to be a stay at home mom.  I want to settle into this life that I am beginning to love and just have this be my life now, and not have classes come in and mess that up.

At the same time I am very close to finishing.  I have one more semester and then student teaching.  Part of me feels like I should just finish.  I feel so torn.  I feel like student teaching especially is going to be hard.  I may have to uproot my family and move them somewhere else to do it, or go by myself, neither of which I really want to do.  I will also have to be gone from Mingli all day, five days a week and figure out what to do with him during the day.

What I need to do is go talk to my adviser, but it is still summer break and he is not in his office, so I am stuck right now debating back and forth.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lise
    Aug 19, 2015 @ 22:39:46

    I wish you good luck in figuring it all out 🙂


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